January 2146

FTL Newsfeed Transcript This article contains the annotated transcript of FTL Newsfeed episodes, originally written by F. Paul Wilson and Matthew Costello.

1 January 2146

ANCHOR: On Europa, Elaina Koblatz is about to begin her solo EVA into the ice moon's subsurface ocean. Doesn't it concern you that two unmanned probes disappeared out there?

KOBLATZ: Of course it concerns me, but the key word regarding those probes is "unmanned". I'll be in my deep-sea suit and in constant contact with Dr. Blaine.

BLAINE: I'll be monitoring her every move.

KOBLATZ: There's something out there, something of momentous importance. I – I think it's significant that I'm venturing out on New Year's Day – it's the dawn of a new year, and perhaps a new age for mankind.

2 January 2146

STINGER: Nautilus update

ANCHOR: Word now from Europa's subsurface ocean is that the Icebreaker lost contact with Elaina Koblatz late yesterday, shortly after she left the ship on her solo EVA. We take you to her fellow Europanaut, Dr. Pablo Blaine.

BLAINE (upset): I don't understand. One minute she's talking to me, the next it's as if the ocean swallowed her up. It's been hours now with no contact. I don't–

SFX: "CLANK!"

BLAINE: That sounds like the airlock! It's got to be Elaina! Thank the stars! (Blaine hurries off, and returns a few seconds later...) No! No! (screams)

FANFARE: This broadcast has been terminated for reasons of planetary security.

3 January 2146

ANCHOR: On Europa, contact has been restored with the Icebreaker and Elaina Koblatz has returned from her solo journey into the ice moon's subsurface ocean. However, she brings news of a tragedy. Here is a replay of her first words with Captain McDonald.

McDONALD: Elaina! You're back. What happened? What did you see?

KOBLATZ (shocked, almost in a trance): I'm not sure... but it was wonderful... indescribable... transforming...

McDONALD: Uh, where's Pablo? Put him on.

KOBLATZ (still dazed): I can't... Pablo is dead... I returned from out there and found him dead... it's awful... I want to go home now...

4 January 2146

ANCHOR: As the Icebreaker makes its way back up through Europa's frozen crust, the world waits to learn what Dr. Koblatz saw in that black ocean... and what happened to her fellow Europanaut. And here on Earth, Kyle Swann reports a strange request from the AI that inhabits the CenBank computer.

SWANN: The Artificial Intelligence has communicated a desire to have a physical existence beyond its vats, terminals and circuits. It has formally requested permission to fashion a human body for itself.

ANCHOR: Has the AI developed a sense of humour? Is this some sort of joke?

SWANN: Not at all. I think it's perfectly natural. After all, its CPU is human DNA.

5 January 2146

ANCHOR: More from Kyle Swann on the AI's request for a human body.

SWANN: The Artificial Intelligence has always been able to manifest itself in the virtual world. Now it wants a real-world persona. We must remember that the AI inhabits the CenBank computer, which has a DNA-based CPU. As we've learned, that DNA carries personality residues from its original donors. All things considered, the AI's desire for a human body seems perfectly natural to me.

ANCHOR: We asked President Clarke for her feelings on the subject.

CLARKE: It seems anything but "perfectly natural" to me. I am opposed to all this madness. The AI may have earned a reprieve for its crimes, but that doesn't mean it can be trusted. I say "no"!

8 January 2146

ANCHOR: Jefferson Kirwan, the gilled adaptee representing the united sea floor communities, is scheduled to address the World Congress tomorrow. It's been nearly one hundred years since the first sea floor communities were established to exploit the resources of the oceans that cover two-thirds of Earth's surface. Each Combine set up its own network of SFCs. The Atlantic communities are devoted almost exclusively to mining the hydrothermal vents of the mid-Atlantic ridge, while aquaculture is the mainstay in the Pacific. And on Europa, the Icebreaker carrying Elaina Koblatz and the late Pablo Valdez Blaine is approximately one week from the surface.

9 January 2146

ANCHOR: Jefferson Kirwan had his moment before the World Congress today. Here is a highlight of the bombshell he dropped.

KIRWAN: I am here to transmit the world's sea floor communities' desire to unite into a single economic entity. We will call ourselves Oceanis and have no allegiance to any other Combine. We respectfully request recognition as an independent state and membership in the World Congress.

ANCHOR: Response from world leaders was swift and to the point.

CLARKE: The NAU does not recognize any Combine other than those already in existence. The sea floor communities owe their existence to the Combines that built and supported them. Jefferson Kirwan is all wet.

10 January 2146

ANCHOR: More reaction to Jefferson Kirwan's request to form an independent undersea Combine.

FAVREAU: The EC built our sea floor communities to ensure a steady flow of minerals and foodstuffs to augment the limited amounts we can supply from the land. And now they say to us, "Thank you very much for constructing our dwellings and giving us this technology and life-support equipment, but now we no longer want to be part of you. We wish to be Oceanis." No, no. This cannot be tolerated!

KIRWAN: There comes a time in every child's life when it feels mature enough to strike out on its own. But that does not mean it forgets its debt to its parents. We have no wish for conflict, but make no mistake: Oceanis means to be free.

11 January 2146

ANCHOR: Kyle Swann has news about the AI.

SWANN: I have presented the AI's request for a human body to the CenBank oversight committee and they have agreed to grant the request on the condition that I personally monitor the new persona through all phases of development. I have agreed to do so. And I would like to reassure President Clarke that she has nothing to fear. The paranoia that afflicted the Artificial Intelligence in the past has been cured. Besides, I will be watching its every move.

ANCHOR: The AI as a person... what would she – or he – look like? Consider the possibilities... And on a more sombre note, funeral services for M'ti, the Last Visitor, will be held tomorrow at noon, standard time.

12 January 2146

ANCHOR: After the ashes of M'ti, the Last Visitor, were presented to his grieving widow, Bimbetta Mondaine, Dr. Winston Rylo made it official.

RYLO: By unanimous decree of the World Congress, I hereby declare that the asteroid construct formerly known as Rylo-7 shall, from this day forward, be officially designated M'ti – an orbiting monument from a grateful planet to a brave little alien. Humankind will never forget M'ti.

(Bimbetta faints)

ANCHOR: The widow Mondaine was rushed to Kevorkian Medical Center where she is reported to be resting quietly. FTL will report on her condition as soon as updates are available.

15 January 2146

ANCHOR: After collapsing at her husband M'ti's funeral ceremony, Bimbetta Mondaine is reported to be doing well at the Kevorkian Medical Center. We asked Dr. Grienechs, who was also her husband's physician, for a progress report.

GRIENECHS: The doctor-patient relationship does not permit me to say too much more than "She's resting quietly".

BIMBETTA: I'm perfectly fine now. I want to go home.

GRIENECHS: Yes, of course, if you wish. But there are one or two more tests I'd still like to perform.

BIMBETTA: I've had enough tests. (she gets out of bed) Really, I think it was just the stress and strain of the ceremony, and holding... poor little M'ti's...

(she faints again and slumps to the floor)

GRIENECHS (shooing the camera away): You'll have to leave now, I'm afraid. (looking offscreen) Get a robo-gurney here – stat!

16 January 2146

STINGER: An FTL exclusive!

ANCHOR: We take you live to Europa where the Icebreaker has returned from the subsurface ocean. Captain McDonald is entering the main cabin. We will learn what befell Dr. Valdez Blaine.

VISUAL:

• McDonald enters the cabin and sees Koblatz sitting in her seat (her change has progressed further)

McDONALD: Dr. Koblatz... you look... different. Are you all right?

KOBLATZ (nodding): Yes, I am all right.

McDONALD (looking past her where we can't see): Is that writing on the wall? What does it say?

KOBLATZ: I do not know.

McDONALD: What's it written in? It almost looks like...

KOBLATZ: ...Blood.

McDONALD (grimacing): You're right. Where's Dr. Blaine?

(Koblatz points off camera)

McDONALD (turns, stares, staggers back): Oh, no! Oh, good Lord! Oh, NO!

17 January 2146

ANCHOR: More mysteries from the Icebreaker on Europa. First there was the unexplained death of Dr. Valdez-Blaine, then the strange behaviour of Elaina Koblatz, and now, strange words and an even stranger symbol.

KARAWARA: Captain McDonald asked me to examine Dr. Blaine who has been most cruelly mutilated. Many wounds, with an almost ritualistic pattern to them. I have never seen anything like this. And I cannot imagine what sort of weapon or instrument was used. There doesn't seem to be anything on the ship that could have caused such damage. The symbol and writing on the wall was done with Dr. Blaine's blood. A terrible, terrible thing has been done here.

18 January 2146

ANCHOR: As reported to a shocked world on A Current Byte last night, this unconfirmed leak from the Kevorkian Medical Center: Bimbetta Mondaine is pregnant. Some outraged citizens have even begun harassing men who were close to her when M'ti was ill. Jay Cypherman, Armondo Corleone, and even his former guardian, Perry Epp, are among the names most often mentioned as possible fathers. Perry Epp was outraged.

EPP: That's insulting! Well, I mean, it's not insulting that someone would think that Ms. Mondaine and I could... but that we would. M'ti was my friend. I'd never do something like that. And besides, all this pregnancy talk is just a rumour. Nothing's been confirmed!

19 January 2146

ANCHOR: Bimbetta Mondaine pregnant? Who, then, is the father? Two of the names most commonly mentioned are Jay Cypherman, host of LateNet, and entrepreneur Armondo Corleone.

CYPHERMAN: Me? Oh, no. Not me. At least I don't think so. You know how it is: so many women, so little time. Sometimes I forget. But I'm sure I'd remember if Bimbetta and I... I mean, I know she was terribly attracted to me and probably wanted to... (shakes his head) Nope. I can honestly say that I'm pretty sure it wasn't me.

CORLEONE: What? Another paternity suit? You gotta be kiddin'!

22 January 2146

ANCHOR: To shed light on the persistent rumours about Bimbetta Mondaine, FTL Newsfeed|FTL]] went directly to her personal physician, Dr. Grienechs.

GRIENECHS: The widow Mondaine has given me permission to confirm that she is, indeed, pregnant.

ANCHOR: Any idea how far along she might be?

GRIENECHS: By normal standards I would estimate 3 or 4 months, but in this case... I don't know.

ANCHOR: By "normal" standards?

GRIENECHS: Well... I've studied the scans and this is not like any baby I've ever seen.

ANCHOR: Can we take that to mean that M'ti might be the father?

BIMBETTA: He is! Of course he is! Oh, isn't it wonderful? M'ti is still with us!

23 January 2146

ANCHOR: The Last Visitor may be dead, but he left behind a child to fill the void.

EPP: I have to admit, I broke down and cried like a baby when I heard the news. This is a great moment. M'ti... I knew you could do it, buddy! What a guy!

CYPHERMAN: Hey! You know what my old co-host would say if he were still here? "I've never been a father before!" (laughs at his own joke) But let's get down to business. Bimbetta, as soon as you're well enough after having this baby, I want you and the tyke on LateNet.

BIMBETTA: Oh, yes, Jay. I accept. I can't think of a better place to introduce M'ti's heir to the world than on the show where he spent so many happy hours.

24 January 2146

ANCHOR: And now, with his unique and inimitable slant on recent events, here is FTL's pop culture commentator, Benjamin Droid.

DROID: Alien baby? Alien baby? Ooh, watch out everybody. I mean, since when has an alien baby ever been good? Remember Alien? (shudders) And I sure hope M'ti was a faithful husband, if you know what I mean – and I think you do. Otherwise we might find ourselves in a real-life Village of the Damned! (shudders again) I wonder what it will look like? (mimes a chest-bursting alien)

ANCHOR: Thank you, Benjamin Droid. Indeed, you're not the only one wondering. Everyone seems to be asking the same question: What will M'ti's offspring look like?

25 January 2146

ANCHOR: The tragedy of the Europa mission – the death of Pablo Blaine and the mental trauma to Elaina Koblatz – has forced director Dr. Winston Rylo into an unfortunate position.

RYLO: Regretfully, I'm ending the Europa mission. With only two fully functioning crew members left, I have no choice but to call the Nautilus home. Lift off is scheduled for tomorrow.

ANCHOR: How is Elaina Koblatz doing?

RYLO: She's still in shock. I'll have no comment on her condition until she's been fully debriefed.

ANCHOR: What about Dr. Blaine's body, then? Any new clues as to what caused his death?

RYLO: Sorry. No comment until a full autopsy has been performed.

ANCHOR: But Dr. Karawara said–

RYLO (gruffly): Dr. Karawara said too much. Good day.

26 January 2146

STINGER: The Europa mystery.

ANCHOR: Add one more mystery to the ill-fated Europa mission: As the Nautilus lifted off from the ice moon's surface, its communications module was overloaded by a transmission blast. Mission director Winston Rylo comments.

RYLO: We don't know where it came from, but the transmission was so powerful it blew one of the Nautilus’s comm processors. The compression ratio of the data was higher than I ever thought possible. So high that we were able to capture only a portion of the transmission.

ANCHOR: What did it say?

RYLO: See for yourself.

VISUAL

• fragments of the Europa puzzle

ANCHOR: What does it mean?

RYLO: We have no idea at this point, but we're working on it.

29 January 2146

ANCHOR: Hours ago, FTL intercepted this encrypted transmission from the Nautilus to mission director Winston Rylo. We have decoded it and are broadcasting it in the public interest.

VISUAL:

• Captain McDonald and Dr. Koblatz (slightly behind McDonald, looking wild and dishevelled)

[[McDONALD (in a conspiratorial whisper): Dr. Rylo, I'm concerned about Elaina. When I looked in on her earlier I found... well, see for yourself. (turns to Elaina) Elaina? Show me your hand again.

• (Koblatz shows the back of her right hand)

McDONALD: No. The other side.

• (Koblatz turns her hand; on her palm is a symbol)

McDONALD: Elaina, how did that get there?

KOBLATZ: I do not know.

McDONALD: What is it?

KOBLATZ: Tau-plamt.

McDONALD: What?

KOBLATZ: Tau-plamt. TAU-PLAMT!

30 January 2146

ANCHOR: The World Congress official list of extinct species has a new addition: the once-common pigeon is no more. However, Eugene Splice of CloneStyles held an encouraging press conference.

SPLICE: The extinct species list is an anachronism. With modern genetic technology, no species need be extinct. As a public service, CloneStyles, Inc. is offering to bring back all extinct species. That's right. If we can isolate a sample of DNA from any extinct species, we can clone it out and bring it back. Leave it to us and we'll see to it that the only thing extinct around here is the extinct species list!

31 January 2146

ANCHOR: Earlier today, Israeli Premier, Yakov Kanter, electrified the world's scientific community with this announcement.

KANTER: I have scheduled a three-day scientific assembly in Tel Aviv over the first weekend in March. At that time, Israel will share with the world the results of its decades of research into the ways and means of a faster-than-light drive.

ANCHOR: Mr. Premier, does Israel have a faster-than-light drive?

KANTER: Yes... and no. All will be explained at the assembly.

ANCHOR: And another matter that has the scientific community buzzing is the holographic fragment that was transmitted to the Nautilus as it lifted off from Europa. What can it mean?